X2…

Yesterday was Memorial Day 2015. Not to take light of the sacrifices of so many who served and are serving our country, but yesterday took on an entirely different meaning for me and Stephanie. Since almost day 2 of our marriage, we have been trying to grow our family. We have done several rounds of IUI, tried private adoption through an organization that tried to scam us out of a lot of money, and we have tried having 2 other kids in our home that also did not work out…

Yesterday was move in day…

The 2 boys that we have done respite care for, moved from their previous foster home, in to our home.

Yesterday was a day that we have worked toward, prayed for, had others pray along with us for and now it was here.  The prayer that we asked God to grow our family had finally come through. It took 9 years for us to grow but it was all in God’s time, not ours. No matter how hard we tried to force God’s hand, He always had a different plan for us. Even through the times where we were pregnant, God knew the results. He knew that even though we were on an extreme high, a very dark time would be ahead for us. I know that even through the excitement, His heart had to be breaking because He knew that He had a different plan and what we were about to go through.

He never left us. He never forgot about us and He still answered our prayer, just not in the way that we expected it. He answered it in the way He planned it.

We have a LOT to learn about BEING parents and a lot to learn about being THEIR parents. We’re learning what they both like and don’t like, while at the same time learning about each of their individual personalities. They are learning that we are not Mr. and Mrs. White, we are Keith and Stephanie. They are learning the house rules and what happens when you break one. It’s all a learning process that will be frustrating at times, but amazing at others.

I am just glad this day has finally come. Now we can move from looking at where we have been and what we went through to get here, to looking forward and looking at where do we want to go? What in our lives and the way that we have  been brought up, can we show to these guys so that they can impact lives of others like we are hoping to do in theirs now?

It’s a scary ride that we are on being first time parents, but I wouldn’t change a thing…

Dear God,

You have answered our prayers in a huge and mighty way. It’s not the way I saw it coming together 9 years ago but it’s the way that You knew it would even before we were thought about. You knew from day 1, this would be where we are, right here, right now, caring for these boys. Help us to be the parents and influence in their lives, like our parents and so many others were in our lives. Thank you for growing our family…….X2!

Keith

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2 Weeks…

2 weeks….For the past 2 weeks Steph and I have been parents to 2 children in the foster system. For what seems like 2 eternities, we have been working on growing our family and God answered our prayers. For 2 weeks, there was getting up early for daycare, brushing their teeth, eating more pizza and ravioli than I ever have in my life. I have watched Tinkerbell, Spiderman, Barbie, Toy Story 1, 2 and 3 and what seemed to be an endless showing of the Scooby Do movies.

And 2 days ago, these kids went to another home.

I said in a previous post that these kids are perfect. I still stand by that statement as God himself, created these kids in His image, but these were not the perfect kids for us. Adults in their past have created issues in the kids that are more than what Steph and I are qualified to help with. Some issues were known about before hand but none to the extreme that we discovered.

These smiling faces need help to overcome what others in their lives have shown them.

So last night, we packed up the last of their toys, their clothes, and numerous stuffed animals so that they can have their belongings where ever God moves them to. We pressed the reset button on our lives so that for the time being, we can overcome. We can overcome the process that failed us, and the kids, and put 2 kids in need of desperate help in a home that was not qualified or trained to help them in the way that they needed help.

So now what? What is next for me and Steph?

We are good. We are going to take some time for us. We are going to finish putting our house back in order and enjoy life together. Since about day 2 of our marriage, we have been wanting to grow our family and now that we have just a small glimpse of what it takes to be a parent, after the miscarriages, the failed procedures, we are looking to God for what He has in store for us. Being a parent may not be in His plans for us and if that’s the case, we are OK with it.

I had struggled with not being a parent until last night. As I sat on the couch thinking about the possibility of not being a parent and making a difference in the life of a child, God spoke very loudly to me. He reminded me that even though we have not had children of our own, and that even though this was not a good match for us, we have been there. We have been involved in the lives of so many youth and so many children. Some of these kids we are still able to stay in touch with. Some are now in college while some have graduated college and are looking towards their adult lives. We have used the skills and training that God has given us to reach out and impact a lot of kids that if we were parents, we might not have had that chance. Because we were not parents of just 1 or 2, we were able to plant seeds in so many more.

It was exactly what I needed to hear from Him.

I am at a point in my life, that if Stephanie and I are not parents, I’m ok with that. As long as we still work together to have the great marriage that we have and we continue to follow where God leads us, we will have an amazing life……just the 2 of us.

 

Dear God,

For many years, we have prayed to grow our family. You have heard our cries and answered those prayers, if only for a short time. Thank You for answered prayers. Thank You for the time that we had with Damien and Alexis. Watch over them and care for them. Provide the help that they need to be all that You have for them. Help us to overcome for we know that You can bring the right child in to our lives when we are ready, and it’s the right time that You have for us.

Keith

The Moment that Everything Change……GOT YA!

This past Sunday, Feb. 15th, I had the honor of preaching at Gracepointe. God had given me the message a few weeks earlier (as He always does) on the subject of the moment that changes everything. Bringing the message in itself would be something new as Gracepointe does two morning services and I have always had to preach only one at a time. I knew the message would hit close to home but I had no idea how close to home it would be.

I began the message using biblical examples, real world examples and usually tie in personal stories to show how the message ties in to my life. I told the story of our miscarriage and how God brought us through it, but also told of what Stephanie and I have been working on for months now, being foster to adopt parents. As I closed out, I explained just how close this process was to being done and how we had a moment coming soon that would change our lives, forever.

Little did I know it would come in about 72 hours….

Tuesday morning, as I am in a LOT of pain headed to the dentist, I got the call, our home was open. We were finally approved by the state of Georgia to be foster parents. I was really excited but the pain was more than the excitement of just our home being opened until we got a referral. Later that day, as I was on my way to the dentist to have the tooth removed and the pain was INTENSE, I got the call from Steph that was greater than any pain that I was feeling. We had a placement. Not only did we have a placement, but it was a sibling group. Something that we had not asked for or even prayed for, but said we were open to. As Steph gave me the details, I knew in my heart, these were our kids. I didn’t run the budget numbers for 2 kids but I did as God led me to say in the message that He gave me on Sunday, we “stepped out.” I told Steph to tell them YES!

That night, as we talked more about it, it became crystal clear that these were the kids that God had for us all along. God had answered our prayers and given us “the desires of our heart.” He had kept His promise just like I said that He would on Sunday and on Wednesday, we brought our children home. We can’t post pics or give any details of the kids to protect their privacy while in the foster system but know that they are perfect because they are the kids that God selected for us.

And in that moment, everything changed…

Dear God,

Your blessings in my life are flooding over me right now. As we prayed with our children last night for the very first time, it was just more confirmation that these are the kids that you selected for us when we were trusting You at our darkest moments. As I sat on the couch watching cartoons or playing with our new family members last night, I knew that You had prepared us for this moment. As I also watched Stephanie bond and play with our new family members, I knew that she was the one that You chose for me to do this with, those almost 9 years ago. You are true to Your word when You say “I know the plans that You have for you” when the moment changes everything!

Keith

Objects in the mirror…

Looking back, then pressing on….

2014 came and went. It seems like only yesterday we were watching the ball drop at the end of 2013 and now another year has vanished. Each year it seems like the days, weeks and months continue to go by at a record pace.

As I look back on 2014 and the events that took place, I am glad to say that 2014 was a huge improvement over 2013. Last year was another year of continued healing and moving on without my dad. Sure I still miss him every day and that hole in my life where my dad was will never be repaired. However, the moments in time where I find myself thinking back and the tears start to fall, are becoming times of laughter and smiles. The strength my mom continues to show, only helps grow my own strength.

The past year was also a year of new opportunities. Stephanie and I had started going to a new church and officially joined sometime around February. We didn’t wait until we were members to plug in. Steph began working with the children’s department and I got out of my box and began playing in the worship band. Later in the year, God would open a HUGE door for us and gave me the opportunity and blessing to become the Associate Pastor at Gracepointe.

This really caught us off guard as we thought God was leading us to sell our home, and move closer to our families. Funny how God’s plans are often so different than our own, but we took the house off of the market and we are serving where we are planted.

Steph found a new opportunity toward the end of the year and has taken the position of Administrative Assistant to the Senior Pastor at a church in Douglasville. This brings on a whole new box of opportunities as it is yet another church that we are connected to. I have actually connected with several people there, including the pastor, that I know will be beneficial connections for us in the future where ever God leads us.

As fall began, another opportunity was opened to us. We began talking about and looking in to the adoption process again. This time however, we found a different route that seems to have put us closer than ever to growing our family. We have actually been to an event where we were able to meet several kids that are in need of permanent families. We still have a long way and a lot of paperwork to go, but the door for us to have a third member of our family is wide open right now.

Pressing on, the opportunities that were presented to us last year will affect us greatly in the new year. We have training for the adoption process for the next couple of weeks. Then it’s just paperwork and waiting on God to bring the child that He has for us through our doors.

Our ministry opportunities continue to come at Gracepointe (I already have PREACHING opportunities in January and in April) but the knowledge and connections that we are making will help us in what ever ministry capacity God has in store for us in the years to come.

So even though I say every year that the new year is going to be “our year” for the first time in a long while, the new year has never looked as bright.

Dear God,
You have blessed me once again with another year of life. You have given me another year with friends and family and You have used me more and more in ministry possibly than ever before. You are presenting opportunities for Steph and I in the new year that are answers to prayers that we have been saying for a long time. I pray that I never take those opportunities that You give me, for granted. Thank You!

Keith