God showing up

A long post, but I’m overdue for one…

Where do I begin. It has been a while since my last post. There for awhile it seemed nothing was worth even writing about. I got up. I went to work. Worried about my job all day. Came home. Did nothing. Went to sleep. Started over. Very hum drum and boring. I didn’t keep up my checkbook, didn’t wash clothes or clean my apartment. I didn’t work out. Life was just a big nothing.
Two weeks ago to the day, all that changed. My boss came and told me and a friend of mine that there was a meeting in a conference room that we had never used before. As we were walking to the meeting, we both looked at each other and just knew. After all, we had all been just standing around for weeks now and a layoff was inevitable, but sometimes after you have made it
through a couple, and it has been a while since the last one, you just get comfortable and think “It wont happen to me.” Well, it did happen to me. For only the second time in my life, due to circumstances beyond my control, I was unemployed.

As we entered the meeting, a member of management, who probably didn’t even know my name, but who was hired the exact same day that I was, just stood there for maybe 5 minutes and never said a word. As more and more people came in the room, we all knew what it was about, but hoped for the best anyway. Our services were no longer required. Here’s a little money. Pack
and leave by the end of the day. That’s the impression that I left that room with.

I was determined not to go out like that. I went back to my desk, started packing. The entire time, making jokes, laughing and cutting up with the best group of coworkers that I have ever been associated with. I even gave my boss the Sports Illustrated calendar that I took from him at the gift exchange at Christmas. I was not going to leave a bad memory of myself to anyone who
still works there. After all, these people were more than just coworkers, they ARE my friends.

You never realize the true friends that you have until you need help. Within a mile of my former office, I had made one call and had two leads on a job. By the end of the day, I had those two leads, as well as two others and I had not even realized what was going on. The following day, a former coworker called with a friend of his that wanted to talk to me. I called him and he had me in his office that very afternoon. Then I left for home just to get my head together and be with my family for Easter.

I surfed the net, I read the papers all the time thinking I could find a job. It wouldn’t take very long. I really thought that I would have a job by Monday afternoon. But something happened Sunday morning. I went to church for Easter at the little church my mom goes to. In my life, I have never seen as many people in that church. There was even almost a row and a half of just kids during the children’s portion of the service. I was just so moved by what God is doing in that church.

During the service, there is a point, where Lauren, the pastor, prays and everyone concludes by saying the Lord’s prayer together. I was so caught up in the service and realizing how wrong that I was about the events of my life, that my mom sitting beside me asked if I had forgotten the Lord’s prayer. What she didn’t realize is that the entire prayer time, I was talking directly with God.
Telling him I know I was wrong for thinking I could do it myself. I told Him that all the problems in my life, I was turning them over to Him. I wasn’t going to worry about a job, career, relationships, etc. I was just going to rest, take it easy and find my way back.

Upon returning to Atlanta, I just knew that God would take care of it. I would have a job maybe by Tuesday. Well Tuesday came and went. No job, but a second interview with the first company that I talked to, a lunch interview with one of my first leads for the job that I really wanted, and by weeks end I had an interview with another company that one of my good friends works with and
recruiters were now starting to call. The lunch interview went great, but they wouldn’t be ready to hire anyone for about a month. The other interview went good as well, but it was on east Atlanta in bad traffic and on a different cad package that I had used before, but really hated.

Tuesday night I went back to 722 because there was supposed to be this surprise. The last time they mentioned a surprise, it was Third Day. A friend of mine met me there for the same reason. There was no Third Day, but God did show me that I needed to stop trying to do things myself. But He also reminded me that I had put a lot between me and Him. He is a loving God, but He is a jealous God too.

So Thursday morning, I finally cave and go apply for my unemployment benefits because I had lived for a week on the severance pay, and now my vacation pay was up as well. I was living on myself now. Boy what a humbling experience. Here I was with a college degree unemployed at the Georgia Department of labor with other people unemployed. Talk about feeling low and like a failure. The entire mood around the room is one of dejection. The people working there don’t make you feel much better either, but I was there and needed help. I filled out all the paperwork and left realizing for the first time the nature of what had happened to me.

That was a long ride home. Wondering where was God and what has happened to me. After all, I had plans for the rest of the year. I had a budget done through December. Now what was I going to do? When I walked in the door and sat down at the computer, wondering how long I could keep cable and my dsl, I began surfing for a job, again. Depression was really about to set

The phone rang and God showed up. The person that had interviewed me, called me from his vacation to let me know that things were still in the works and they were trying to get the budget together to be able to bring me on board. Later that afternoon, the department head called and offered me a job. It took longer than I had expected, but some of my friends that were laid off last year still haven’t found a job. God found me one in a week. Just about the time my severance and vacation pay ran out.

Two things I was reminded of. One, I am not God, He is and He is in control even when I am not close to Him. Two, all things are in His time, not mine because everything that happens is part of a bigger plan. His plan not mine regardless of what I think.

And finally, last night I realized that the worst was over. I was on my way back to God, I had a new job, and my worries about a job and money were not over, but were to a lesser degree. Life was good again. The service last night was the CD release of the new passion live CD. The worship was incredible. If you couldn’t feel God in the house last night, you probably wont ever. Chris Tomlin, Charlie Hall and the David Crowder Band just really rocked the joint. It was as usual one of those nights that I had ten thousand other things to do and didn’t really want to go to 7:22 but did anyway. It never fails. The whole time last night I was hearing this little voice of a friend of mine that had tried to tell me earlier that I was really starting to slip. And she wanted to know why, why, why, because, because, because? And I totally blew her off.

God I hate it when she’s right!