I am a fixer by nature. I see something broken, and I try to fix it. It gives me a lot of satisfaction to know that I was able to take something that couldnt be used anymore, and make it useable again. Lately, I’ve been able to do this for my father in law with his computers. He had 2 crash on him within a few weeks and I was able to get them both back up and running with just a little effort.
Steph gives me a lot more credit than I am due. She calls me her personal McGuiver because so far, I’ve been able to either repair, modify, upgrade or restore almost everything around our house that needed it. We are planning on building a privacy fence for our dog Maggie, and we are planning on doing it ourselves to save money since it doesnt appear to be too difficult of a task. I have other projects that I have done around the house, like my office, wiring the basement, making our DVR record 2 shows at once, etc., (I kind of impressed myself that I was able to do that).
She builds me up, encourages me, helps me to see the forrest when all that I see are trees. She shares her life with me and puts me second in her life, only to God. The two men I admire the most in this world are my dad and hers and she puts me above both of them. That’s some pretty big shoes to fill.
Today, I did something that I cannot fix. I put someone else above her. I told someone else about God taking care of me, before I told her. I shared it with someone else, before I shared it with her. She shares every aspect of her life with me first, and I didnt do the same for her.
I messed up and hurt someone who means the world to me.
It got me to thinking almost immediately “How can I fix this?” Truth is, I can’t. I can’t fix this immediately. It will take time for this mess up to be fixed. It will take time for me to show her that I put her first in everything that I do. It will take time and there will be consequences. The consequences are I feel awful about it and it will probably make this day even worse since it already started out with me getting in an accident. It has totally taken over my focus this morning that I hurt someone that I love.
How about every time we mess up and do something we know is wrong in God’s eyes? I dont immediately think the same thing. I just go on. Sure I know God has already forgiven me even before I ask, but do we really try to fix it? Do we really try to stop doing what we know is wrong in God’s eyes?
We are all human and imperfect by nature. We fail. We fail again and again and again. God will forgive us for every sin in our lives, if we just ask. That is all we have to do, to “fix it” with Him. He is perfect, loving, kind and totally forgiving. More so than we are.
Dear God,
Once again, You have watched over me and kept me out of harms way. Today could have been a lot worse. I could have hit the car in front of me or have been struck a lot harder than I was. Thank you so much for watching over me and keeping me safe. Help me to see when I put others before you. Help me see when I am doing wrong in your eyes and to remember You are first.
Steph, I am so incredibly sorry. I am sorry that I didnt tell you first about what happened. No excuses, no sarcasm, just sincerity. You are second in my life, only to God above. I wont try to kid me or you and say it wont happen again, because I am so not perfect. I just hope you can forgive me.
Keith
KWHITE75 