Once again, a long time since a post. Well again, a lot has happened. I started the new job after being laid off and it just never felt right. The engineer that I was working for was a little shall we say “out there”. A nice guy, but it was difficult to work for him. However, it was a job and I was thankful to have it. Then coming home one night, a former employer of mine called and told me
he had an “opportunity” with his company that I would be perfect for. To make a long story short, I am now going into my third month working for an up and coming HVAC company. I am working my A$$ off, but I love it. I stay busy all the time now and I have 12 technicians that work for me. A little different than I’m used to, but I will adapt. My personal life has gone to crap in a handbasket but I’m too busy with work to worry about it. Well…at least part of it. See, when I get to thinking about these same four walls over and over, it depresses the absolute HELL out of me. So, as I have done in the past, I started drinking a little more than usual. Then I began drinking A LOT. I didn’t realize it until
a good friend pointed it out to me, that my life had now become one bar, one drink right after another. She reminded me that I needed to get a grip. People my age don’t go out drinking just to see how torn up they can get. I just thought she was crazy….Until Saturday. You see, Friday night some friends came over and we got really bad messed up. Its nothing that I am bragging about. (Its actually pretty embarrassing, but I treat this as almost therapy) So Saturday when I woke up, feeling like a truck had just backed over me twice, I realized that she was right. She had told me that I lost who I was and I was
trying to find me. The more that I thought about it, the more it made me mad because she was right. I searched for things that I was about and nothing came to mind. Then I just did a lot of soul searching. I came to Atlanta to find myself and I thought that I had. And I had found who I was, I just forgot it. I forgot it because I put too many things in the way. I realized that the person I am, is one who is involved in church, who seeks God, who enjoys the company of those with the same goals and beliefs that I have.
So last night, I began my quest to get back to good. My quest to get back involved in church, to get back to God, AGAIN. I poured out all the remaining alcohol in my apartment, put Third Day, John Tesh, and Passion back in the CD changer and made plans to go to church this morning. Well as usual, morning came and I didnt want to go. I didnt really know WHERE to go. I dont have a church home right now. Freedom has never felt like home. Plus it and Mountain Lake are just way too far for me to drive and get involved. I didnt want to go to Northpoint because last time it just seemed to watered down and I didnt get anything out of it. Plus Andy was talking about God and your Bod. Just what I didnt want to hear. But when I went to their website, it had a part one message of Louie. If there is a part one, surely there will be a part 2. I got a shower and dressed for Northpoint hoping Louie was speaking. And man did he ever. What an awesome message he gave about “The guilt trip is over” talking about the guilt of sin. I really needed to hear that since I have been feeling pretty guilty about the way I have been living lately.
So to end a long blog, I am realizing every day, life is what you make of it. And its time for me to make better choices. After all, we
aren’t guaranteed the next breath.
KWHITE75 